Movember – Kieran's journey overcoming depression, anxiety and PTSD

As part of Men’s Health Month, Kieran Arnott, applications and development officer at Fleet Solutions, has shared his journey with mental health.

Trigger Warning: Please note that this blog includes sensitive topics, including suicide.

Hitting a low point

Towards the back end of 2024, I hit a very low point and attempted suicide. Thankfully, I pulled myself up and survived.

I felt very guilty and selfish for my actions after telling my family what had happened, and it felt hard to move on from that very moment.

After attending A&E that same day, I was discharged and went to the shop to get some last-minute Christmas shopping, and out of nowhere, I started having a panic attack. I felt like I was suffocating, and I couldn’t breathe in any air.

I felt a very heavy headache come on at the same time. Later that night, I kept waking up multiple times drenched in sweat.

The following day, I still felt like I couldn’t breathe properly and had a pounding headache. I started noticing gaps in my memory and everywhere I looked it was foggy. I started fearing the worst, as if I was going to die soon.

Every night after that day, I would wake up having a panic attack, thinking something was really wrong. I kept having chest pain that I’d never felt before, like I was having a heart attack. Every day was a big dream, I felt like I wasn’t present, and I wasn’t able to be in the moment.

All the activities that I enjoyed were no longer enjoyable. I just didn’t want to leave the house. I thought I was never going to be the same again. I just felt broken.

My recovery journey - how seeking help and getting diagnosed made a difference

I went see my GP, who diagnosed me with anxiety and PTSD. I found it hard to believe at first, as my definition of anxiety was overthinking everything (which I was), but that didn’t explain all the physical and psychological symptoms I was experiencing.

I was prescribed antidepressants to help manage all the symptoms.

I started attending Andy’s Man Club which helped me understand more about PTSD and anxiety and speak to others that may have had similar experiences. This has helped me on my recovery journey and having that reassurance has helped me remain at ease and get comfortable in the uncomfortable.

I was off work for 2 months, and when I returned, I was a bit apprehensive at first, but my colleagues helped me settle back in.

It’s been over 9 months since the incident, and I am in such a better place mentally, thanks to my family and close friends who have supported me along the way.

How I deal with ongoing symptoms

At the beginning of my recovery journey, I didn’t know what was going on, as I didn’t have anyone who had been through anything similar to talk to. I felt completely isolated.

I also don’t think there is enough information out there about mental health. I certainly didn’t know what I am experiencing was a mental illness until I reached out to Andy’s Man Club.

I still experience all the symptoms of anxiety every day. I still have nightmares and flashbacks of that day. I am starting to enjoy doing things a little more – things that I used to do.

What I’ve learned is that when you experience trauma, you may no longer be in danger, but your brain thinks you are. The nervous system remains in a state of fight-or-flight, which is your brain’s way of keeping you safe.

All the physical and psychological symptoms are caused by this, which does feel scary at first, but it does get better once you start accepting it.

Encouragement for anyone struggling with similar experiences

I couldn’t tell you much of 2025 as it has been a big blur, but what I would say is that is that you can’t give up.

If you are going through anything like what I’ve experienced, just get comfortable with what you feel and remain positive. It’s okay to talk!